He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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