If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
