You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
vagina is talking i cant
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
