SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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