Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
