I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
