please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
He better not be in your backpack
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
