Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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