i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Randomize
