So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
