So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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