why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize