hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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