whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
