Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
