i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
