no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
