So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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