Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
