meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
