Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
