You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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