ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
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