when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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