I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
