I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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