I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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