What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
