all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize