Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I take back everything I said about communal showers
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize