Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
