i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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