At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
