dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
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