so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
