thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Shame - the story of my life.
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