Need sex. Gaining weight.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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