I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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