every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm determined to sit on that face.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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