I want to stick my p in your. b.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
