i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
porn star boner night. come get it.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
May the power of my ass compel you!!
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
