sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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