I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
