I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
