so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
