at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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