he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
