Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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