Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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