She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
