Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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