we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
