Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
