Pants 0. Shit 1.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
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