Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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