watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
