do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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