Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
either way he was missing a nipple.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
His nipple licking is glorious
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
