nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
