The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
