She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
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