i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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