Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Randomize
