last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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