SEEEEXXX PLEASE
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
